1/23/16-1/23/17. One full year.

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1/23/16-1/23/17. One full year.

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“You made our day” – It really is about the little things.

If you aren’t interested in me blabbering randomness, here’s my post dedicated to my dad from last year:

https://karenskaleidoscope.wordpress.com/2016/01/28/happy-birthday-to-me-hero/

So many thoughts all jumbled. A full year has passed since I lost my father. I play back those 2 hours last year when everything happened and as much as I prayed to God to wait and not to let it happen, God still went on with his plan. They say time will heal, but they are wrong. The pain never goes away. This past year has been an emotional rollercoaster as I have been trying to figure out the best way to deal with the whole picture.

Loss is the scariest, most surreal experience in life and really changes everything. Not everyone gets it, as I have learned through out this year. You would think people would be more compassionate and they are. Lots of love. But surprisingly not everyone. Some people use a traumatic experience to turn against you.

I’ve teared up at the most random moments, I’ve felt as if someone was watching me as I sit at the table and I’ve even felt like situations have happened uncontrollably that I have held control of in the past. People have been taken from my life and others from the past have been brought back. Random odd things have happened that seem unexplainable….so I know he’s here. Like look. Every time I do something on my phone that requires me to enter in my email, my predictive text predicts dad’s email first. Which I obviously have not used in a year. I read somewhere spirits can get into electronics. Not to freak you out or make me sound crazy but I remember the first couple days after it happened last year, one night my phone freaked out out of nowhere and the lights were switching all weird. Dad’s totally bugged my phone lol.

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See!!!!

 

The first 3.5 or so months of the year I needed to sleep with the light on and felt weird if I was home alone at night. Over the summer I went through a phase where I thought life is too short, I’m tired of being upset I am gonna be out and about to keep my mind off things. Once fall hit and I couldn’t believe how much time has gone by so quickly it brought me down again.

Unfortunately loss is a part of life. Unfortunately 2016 was a year it just seemed like we lost so many more than usual. Unfortunately we have to deal with it. I hope my dad stays with me forever and I always feel him next to me guiding me.

This birthday was a tough. Along with their phone calls, my dad would always send a short but sweet email, bc desi people aren’t good with being emo unless it’s written lol. This year there was no email. This year it was just mom on the phone instead of both of them together on the phone with me as they always did.

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Last message ever received from him.

 

I am fully aware this whole extremely long blurb makes no sense. And its extremely long. I got my chatty chatty mouth from dad though and I’ll hold on to that forever. *random memory* I remember one time dad called and it reached my voicemail. He left me the funniest (but to him very serious) message about how I didn’t say our last name clear enough. How I need to say our last name clear and proudly and should be proud to be a Bahri! 😊😘 Thanks to that message I will never change my last name for anyone. And yes, I re-recorded my voicemail!

I read though my post I wrote on his birthday last year (which is in 5 days). Link is below..God bless.

https://karenskaleidoscope.wordpress.com/2016/01/28/happy-birthday-to-me-hero/

– Karen Bahri

 

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About kbahri114

Hi! I'm an outgoing, bubbly New Yorker of Indian origin. I grew up in a Punjabi home and was raised with Hindu traditions in America. I am extremely in touch with my Indian roots and am thankful to have had been taught about my culture while growing up, which is why I have a great appreciation towards my culture and like to share it with others as well as learn about different cultures. At one point in my life I came to the realization about how we have been blessed with the gift of life on the planet earth. When I'm 90 years old lying on my death bed looking back at my life, I want to make sure I took full advantage of my life and explored this amazing world we live in! I knew traveling was something I had to start doing. I'm not the type to live in a bubble my entire life. I've always been intrigued by the world and different cultures. I have always wanted to explore and see as much of the world as I can! Life is all about experiences, meeting people, learning new ways and concepts and taking risks. I'm also very fond of photography, fashion, shopping, having fun, being loud, laughing and cracking crazy jokes, music and dance (I used to dance traditional for festivals back during the school days). This blog is meant to be fun & entertaining but it also provides my personal experiences and what you might expect to discover while traveling. It also will include random thoughts and stories since a kaleidoscope is meant to be a colorfully shaken mix of happiness! I hope you find my blog interesting, fun, funny & informative, but most of all entertaining!!

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