Happy other birthday Dad!!
Today the sun is shining bright and warm. Today is the date of birth that you have to write on all documents (or something) I never understood this really, I just know back in the day (or do they still do it now??) they give people a second date of birth when they came to the U.S. for whatever reason. So everyone thinks your birthday is today lol. I used to get jealous wondering why you and the other people got 2 birthdays and I didn’t! Lol
I hope you are well wherever you are. Where are you?? What’s it like? What happens?? Who are you with?? Can you see me?? Did you help me solve that invoice calculation that was all screwed up at work the other day? I felt like you did. All the times I feel like you are with me, are you?? Or is that my imagination? Why did this have to happen now. I still don’t believe it. It’s so surreal to me.
I hope you have been listening to me as I talk to you all day long. I hope you are also listening to me when I’m about to go home and I ask you to go stay with mom for the night so I don’t get so scared. Give me strength to be strong enough to turn my lamp off at night and sleep. I know you will tell me I have nothing to be scared of. Eventually I hope you come into my dreams again and tell me everything. Please not yet. I’ll totally freak out. I’ll tell you when. I know you may find it funny how in the daytime I boldly ask you to give me a sign & show me that you are here with me, then when it starts to get dark and I’m going home I’m like “okay enough, now go hang with mom for the night” lol.
I hope you are spending your 2nd birthday of the year with Mata ji and Pitha ji. You haven’t seen your parents in so long! Mom is getting stronger! Keep helping her dad. It made me so happy to hear her last week when she seemed to be a little more happy and talkative. Did you hear her tell me she was doing bank work? Lol I’ve never seen her do bank work! I’m sure you are guiding her to be calm and strong so she doesn’t freak out about small things like she was. You are her best friend. Speaking of, I will go see Motia bhua ji as soon as I can. I know you would want me to as she is your favorite cousin. Dad, give me strength and advise on how to handle the things that are stressing me out. Help me handle things that annoy, bother, and make me mad. I think some people just do not have good intentions and I don’t trust them. I hope you are also seeing who has been there on my side unconditionally. I just want your blessing dad.
Look what I found! I am so glad I found this photo when I was home in November. It’s you in front of the house you grew up in in Panipat. I don’t know when this was taken, but I remember when you took me there on our trip. You were soooo proud. Thaiya ji was like “okay let go” after 2 minutes, but you stood on that demolished land and showed me where every room was in detail, and you were soo excited to show me everything! Remember when you took me to our house we lived at in that town in Ohio where I was born in? I was around 13 and I was so embarrassed that you and mom were snooping around that house. Then when the people who lived there came home and you told them you used to live there and they went from freaked out to relieved! LOL. You were so excited to show me that house. You took me to where a bedroom was at and told me when you brought me back from the hospital when I was born, you laid me on the bed and everyone just stared at me. I miss all your stories.
Now I am rambling. I got that from you so I will continue being a rambler proudly! Happy other birthday. I still hear your voice loud and clear. Everyone tells me they know I am strong. That’s correct but that doesn’t mean I am not human. Some people expect me to be cheerful all the time. I don’t feel like it all the time. There won’t be a single day that you are not on my mind. There probably won’t even be a single moment. You aren’t a memory. Don’t be a memory dad. Nobody should forget about you. I will never ever.